Fat man........

Dont want to be a fat man,
People would think that I was
Just good fun.

Too much to carry around with you,
No chance of finding a woman who
Will love you in the morning and all the night time too.

I seen the other side to being thin.
Roll us both down a mountain
And Im sure the fat man would win.

-- Courtesy: 'Fat man' by Jethro Tull

A tribute to / criticism of my expanding waistline!!!!!!

A makeover

Blog: Dude, are you there?
Me: Am right here mate.
Blog: I need an image makeover.
Me: Why? You look real good.
Blog: I am worthless, just like you. All I do on the web is to occupy space and no one looks at me.
Me: What about my established readership?
Blog: Ahem....
Me: Ok. Here you go. My belated Diwali gift to you.
Blog: I could have done with a customised one, u dumb ass!!!

Back to square one....

1. Back at Hyderabad after spending an extended Diwali weekend at home. The spiralling aviation fuel costs meant that I no longer had the luxury of travelling via air. The drawling train ride was a major bore. Getting back to work right after such a long trip is not an exciting prospect. The journey home is never too long, but the one back from home, definitely is.
2. The weekend at home was terrific fun. Spent some quality time with Mom, Sis and her kids. And catching up with friends at Coimbatore is one event I always look forward to.
3. The forthcoming 10-15 days are going to be hectic at work.
4. I am almost through with Steve Waugh's 'Out of my Comfort Zone'. No doubt a marathon effort, considering the mammonth size of the book (reminded me of my Fluid Mechanics textbook - it never failed to give me the blues at college), but it is well and truly worth it. An amazingly well written autobiography by one of the greatest exponents of the game. Planning a post on this, when I find time.

Don't think. Just speak out....

Said Meera, when she tagged me.....

I am thinking about...
Err... Lemme think!!!

I said...
U heard it

I want to...
Shoot 'em in the face!

I wish...
..for a pot of gold.

I hear…
..the sound my hair makes when it grows

I wonder...
.. What makes her frigging hot

I regret...
.. being allergic to hot bodies

I am...
.. perfect

I dance...
.. when I wait in front of the occupied bathroom

I sing...
.. so well that not even I can stand listening to it. But u have to do some things in your life for your friends.. Sigh!!!

I cry...
.. Nah.. Not for moi...

I am not always...
... a sick psychopath, all blown up in my head

I make with my hands...
... Namaste, with the hands pressed together, palms touching, in front of the chest... Hehe.. U beleived it?

I write...
... this letter to you with tears rolling down my eyes.. Sniff Sob.. Poda vennai..

I confuse...
... others (Hah. That was easy)

I need...
... sleep

I tag my bro....

$ In love $ ??

I was on the bus back to Hyderabad from Tirupathi. I had been there to attend my friend's wedding. It was around 9 pm at night and they had switched the lights off in the bus. It was dark. I increased the volume in my mp3 player to save myself from the Telugu movie that was roaring at full volume in the bus. The hero, twice the size of a half-burnt matchstick, was beating the hell out of the poor villain who was just about as thick as oak tree, and the background music referred to the hero as a macho man. I thanked God and Sandisk for creating Mp3 Players. I closed my eyes. AR Rahman was singing 'New York Nagaram'.

Am I in love?

I was unable to sleep. All my six (I do have 6) senses were filled with thoughts about her. In my path of stones, is there a flower-bed. Why does she need to disturb me by appearing regularly in my dreams? What is stopping her getting rid of this whole thing and come rushing to me? This was not the first time that my thoughts have swerved towards her. I have been thinking of her day and night. There was something in her that made her and only her special.

I was deaf to the sounds that surrounded me - to the rumbling noise of the bus, to the gyrations of the pair on TV, to the heavy duty snoring of the guy in my opposite seat, to everything...

Am I in love?

The silent environment made my decision making process easier. I am in love. But, what do I do next? Talking to her is next to impossible, because ever since I knew her no one has ever dared spoken to her. Even those who have tried, have done so in vain, without any reply from her. She rarely opens her mouth. Infact, she never opens her mouth!!! Is she dumb?? I dont care. I am in love, and that is all I know. Sometimes standing still can be the best move that you ever make.... But will that help me solve this issue?? My friends, any ideas??

I have been grappling with this question for a while now. I am even contemplating changing the second half of my name to match her name. I love her. I really do love money. I have just a few hundreds in my bank and I have run up huge debts. I could think of nothing else, other than that beautiful vamp!!! And henceforth, when any of you write to me, address me as $aimoney.

Eye am not ant-agonistic

Just about daybreak for him. He opened his eyes, very slightly, to take a look at his clock. It was 7.55 am. He can easily slip in 5 more minutes of sleep. He grinned sheepishly inside and closed his eyes again. He was woken up in a harsh way. It was extremely painful. It was a cowardly act of the highest order, since it was done when he was sleeping. He did not realise what had actually happened at the beginning. Only when he tried to take stock of the situation by opening his eyes, did he realise that his right eyelid was too heavy. "Yikes!! It has a bulge.." he exclaimed. He had just been bitten right on his right eyelid - Yes, thats right, no left - when he had been enjoying the guilty pleasure of the extra 5 minutes of his morning sleep.. He was furious. He could see from the corner of his right eye, the convict running across his pillow. The convict told him that he was repentant for his actions. He forgave the ant, but could not forget the incident because the swollen right eye irritated him while writing this post.

May God bless his eye!!!

Ass u like it...

Visited a close friend of mine during the weekend, who gave me the vital piece of information that there were absolutely no donkeys in China... The conversation went like this:

Moi: How was ur China trip?
Friend: It was great!!! A lot better than I expected??
Moi: Did u get to eat all those exotic dishes??
Friend: Yep!!! i ate ..... (She went on with the list of dishes which included almost all of the existing species, except horses, donkeys and a few wild animals)
Moi: Now, that is quite a list.. Why did u miss out on horses??
Friend: Too big for me to digest. I thought u would be more interested in the places I visited, u a**hole!!!
Moi: Ah, that reminds me.. What about donkeys??
Friend: There are no donkeys in China!!!
Moi: Why, have they already eaten up all of them??
Friend: I really dont know, man!!! I sometimes wonder how people can exist without asses...
Moi: Machaa!!! Its just that donkeys and asses are mutually exclusive. An ass can take multiple forms, but a donkey is always a donkey.
Friend: I am deliberating...
Moi: About what??
Friend: Whether to skin u alive or to roast u??
Moi: That would make u an 'Ass''ass'in.. U just refuse to come out of the asses debate, do u!! Now, u would say that England and Australia would be competing for 'The Asses' instead of 'The Ashes'...
Friend: Aarrgghhh!!!

I was in the bus back to Hyderabad within 5 minutes of the conversation...

I walk a....

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I walk alone

No subject...

7 bomb blasts rocked Mumbai yesterday. Though I do not belong to Mumbai, it is a city which is very close to my heart, and the Western Rail Line is the one I take very often when I visit my folks at Andheri. I share the grief with the millions of people in the city. I really really feel terrible for Mumbai. Hope there is a meaningful breakthrough soon.....

Take care friends.....

Disaster Sunday

This Sunday was an absolute drab.. Schumi had to start from the pitlane after he was penalised for delaying tactics in the closing stages of qualifying. That he fought back to finish fifth was, but a small consolation.

Then in the evening, off we went to watch the eagerly awaited Fanaa.. A lot was expected out of this flick which starred Aamir Khan, fresh from his RDB success and Kajol, the numero uno heroine making a comeback... It turned out to be one of the all time great movies ever to grace Indian Cinema. The same love story, remade prehaps for the 45698th time, uncreative music (been hearing the same from Jatin-Lalit, Anu Malik and the other also-rans for ages), admirable over acting by Rishi kapoor and Kiron Kher are some of the high points of the movie, which makes it fascinating to watch. There are some amazingly insipid fight sequences and a gibberish child character, who keeps on repeating the same lines throughout the movie to keep the viewer interested. If you get bored inspite of all these, then try figuring out one thing - other than the lead cast - good in the film, and I am sure that you will have a rocking time, like I did... One of my friends had taken his girlfriend on a date to watch this epic. So depressed was the girl, that she actually threatened to shoot him like Kajol does to Aamir at the climax.. Oops, have I revealed the climax.. Dont bother, you aint missing on anything... So if you are looking for a plan to extract revenge on your mother-in-law, then do not bother to look any further. Just sponsor her tickets for Fanaa!!

And to top off an uneventful day, the Indian cricket team orchestrated a sens(ex)ational collapse, to go down 1-4 to boost the confidence of a sagging West Indies side. Uthappa, Raina and Kaif deserve due appreciation for their efforts to keep the West Indian flag flying high...

Burp....

Consider this..... Manchow soup, Vegetable Fried Wantons, Schezwan Fried Rice, Vegetable Soft Fried Noodles and a dish which consisted of eight different vegetables - cauliflower, baby corn, broccoli, carrot, i dont remember the others, but u name it, it was there in it and to top it all a Schezwan Date Pancake... My lunch today was a treat by a friend for his new job..... And I have a presentation scheduled for the evening... Forgive moi if I am blabbering.... I am zzzzleepy, and I really need to get working now!!!!

My element

Since this was on almost every blog, I decided it was time for 'My element' to grace my blog too... Does the element resemble me?? Hmmm.. Lemme think!!!

Its time to wake up

I wake up in the morning at 6 o clock, take a quick refresh and off to the gym at my office, workout for an hour, go to the recreation area, play pool for sometime, come back, take bath, have breakfast and then leave to office. This is the Plan of Action everyday.. But how many days start off as planned??? When my cellphone tries to wake me up at 6 thrrough its irritating alarm, the number of times it has succeeded can be counted by fingers. My roommates try to kick my ass and wake me up (on days when they manage to wake up) and thankfully they succeed 50% of the time. But on other days, its me and my beauty sleep till 8 am... But hey, I am still workin on it...........

Yep!! Its me..

Hey!!! I am here, finally... This is my second blog. I never used to update the previous one because of one simple reason. I was just tooo lazy. I intend to be more active this time around. Lets see how it goes..............